it was 30 years ago and it was also today

the same pale white embrace

the same melting sensation

the same connection

this person who has been metaphorically dead for a lifetime if not actually deceased 

but those questions are released and forgotten

my mouth is full of him my hands are full of him my mind is full of him

it is like before only updated and improved

everything is white and green and pale blush pink and dark brown almost black spots of stubble on his chin

and then everything shifts and there's a smell of shit

the beautiful scene spoiled as reality barges in