the sense of accomplishment, the pride, the excitement of finding a home after a long search, thinking the struggle was over and now the rewarding work of settling in and beautification could begin....all that positive turned to anxiety and worry and fear unexpectedly
i was there visiting ready to meet with contractors and redesign and enhance the new home base, my place.  then i noticed at the top of the wall  a bulge that i hadn't seen before... expansion round and cracked like a veined heart.  i went into the front room and light was pouring in, the dim cool light of cloudy rainsoaked morning, coming in under the window, a hole had opened up in the foundation.  I run to the next room and find an even bigger hole, a  large smile with gapped cement block teeth leered at me waiting to swallow my ambition.
i mentally ran through my options, could i bail out with an insurance claim? or try to repair from the storm and accept this giant step back as just one more bump on my planned path to independence...
it felt like it was too much and i would let fate determine the way forward.