it started out wonderful
my friends from germany were here and i was thrilled to see them and speak german and feel that old friend familiarity again but she had to clear out an art studio...it seems she had become a ceramic artist and perhaps also dabbled in printmaking and other things... she was emptying her studio and i had come to help move things. we spoke a little bit but mostly i was on the fringe sorting things into boxes that eventually i decided i would take home to use myself.  my boyfriend was there to help me load the big heavy boxes into trunks and my friend from  minnesota was there too...  it was an odd landscape.  they were turning the studio space into a grocery store. it was enormous you could drive a truck through it an there were trees and hills inside... 
after loading a particularly heavy box into the truck we left. i tried to bid farewell to my german friend but she was uncharacteristically distant, surrounded by others...  on the way home my boyfriend stopped the car in a parking lot and sat there. at first i thought it was to enjoy the view but when it seemed like we would not go any further and he just sat reading text messages i got angry. there was a stuffed toy shoved into the side pocket of the car door, i ripped its arms off and  threw the torso and appendages to the winds scattering their parts in different directions and then i ran off.
i ran and ran over paths thru trees dodging shopping carts then thru trailer parks jumping and running along picnic tables and rocks and construction areas...  i realized i needed a ride and found my minnesota friend to take me towards home.   i expected my boyfriend to catch up with us but he didnt...  i got out of her car and resumed running suddenly i was shirtless and back at the warehouse where it was a party, a costume party and i'm wrapped in a white shower curtain. 
i see my boyfriend come in dressed in short short overalls and a white tshirt underneath with a girl dressed as a scarecrow with clown makeup.  i asked him if i could speak to him for a moment and was asking why he was there with another girl, knowing why but wanting to hear the truth. as i was speaking to him i could hear my words but suddenly didn't care and although i knew it would be painful i sort of wanted to move on. i looked down and another girl was between us and i shoved her aside to get one last word with him. he looked up at me and began to sing a song about what if or some country questioning lifes meaning type ballad.  it seemed insincere and i had enough and left knowing it was over and ready to face that heartache so as to just get over it and get on with life.